BDSM Without the S-E-X: Exploring Non-sexual Kink & Relationships

BDSM Without the S-E-X: Exploring Non-sexual Kink & Relationships Workshop Description

There is a common misconception that BDSM is all about sex. I mean, why else would people do this stuff, if they weren’t getting off on it? In BDSM Without the S-E-X: Exploring Non-sexual Kink & Relationships, we will explore the many sides of non-sexual kink and relationships and take a look at why you may want to try it out for yourself.

To begin, we need to define sex. Think about it because it’s the first thing you’re going to be asked to do in the workshop. What makes an encounter sexual for you? Do you think that your definition of sex and sexual fits with most other people’s definitions? Get comfortable with doing some introspection and thinking (or kinking) outside the box, we are going to be doing a lot of it!

With that out of the way, we can look at the reasons that people may engage in non-sexual kink. There are probably as many reasons as there are people who engage in it. We are also going to address a common misconception about asexual people and non-sexual kink. For those unfamiliar with asexuality, we will briefly talk about what asexuality is and isn’t and how it relates to non-sexual kink and relationships.

Delving deeper into non-sexual kink & relationships, we will look at how D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationships can happen without a sexual element. We will also explore the various options for non-sexual BDSM play, of which there are plenty.

In a world that largely assumes a sexual element to most BDSM, we will discuss how to negotiate non-sexual kink & relationships and how to establish firm boundaries. Of course, it’s hard to negotiate without a partner, so we will look at options for finding non-sexual BDSM partners as well.

Finally, we will take a look at some aspects of ethical non-monogamy, for those who are engaged in non-sexual relationships who also wish to have sexual relationships with other people. Or the reverse; people in monogamous sexual relationships who want to satisfy their kinks in an ethical manner with others.

BDSM Without the S-E-X: Exploring Non-sexual Kink & Relationships Workshop Special Considerations

BDSM Without the S-E-X: Exploring Non-Sexual Kink & Relationships is best suited for conventions or other multi-class style events. It can be taught as a stand-alone class as well.

This workshop will include a facilitated discussion about engaging in non-sexual kink & relationships. The more participation from attendees, the more they will get out of it. Everyone is encouraged to speak up and share their experiences with the group if they feel comfortable doing so.

Please note that while the facilitator, Morgan Thorne, is asexual, this workshop is designed for people of all sexual orientations who wish to learn more about playing non-sexually. Of course, aces are encouraged to come out too!

There will be discussions about different types of play, but we won’t be learning specific SM play skills unless there is time and consensus among attendees.

BDSM Without the S-E-X: Exploring Non-sexual Kink & Relationships Workshop Length

The BDSM Without the S-E-X: Exploring Non-sexual Kink & Relationships workshop can be scaled up or down to suit your event. Generally, one and a half hours will cover most of the materials, depending on participation and desire of attendees. There will be time for Q&A at the end of the workshop as well as throughout the presentation.

The workshop and discussion will cover these topics:

  • Defining sex and sexual BDSM play
    • Differences between asexuality and non-sexual play
  • Why people choose to engage in non-sexual kink & relationships
    • the importance of connective touch
  • How to negotiate non-sexual kink & relationships
  • Ideas for non-sexual play
    • Kinks that are often non-sexual in nature
  • Finding partners for non-sexual kink & relationships
  • Ethical non-monogamy

BDSM Without the S-E-X: Exploring Non-Sexual Kink & Relationships Workshop Details

This class is best suited to smaller groups of up to 20 people. Larger groups can be accommodated, but discussions may be limited.

The BDSM Without the S-E-X: Exploring Non-Sexual Kink & Relationships Workshop is presented in gender-neutral terms. This class is a safe space for LGBTQA people, attendees are expected to respect that. Disrespectful behaviour will not be tolerated.

The Workshop has an optional PowerPoint presentation, to help visual learners. A screen and projector are required for this option.