Ask: Attending a Rope Class Solo?

I really want to attend a beginner rope class or gathering. The invite assures that this is ok and a partner isn’t necessary but I picture myself being on the outside. It already makes me embarrassed and excited to think about going at all. I wanted to ask what’s it really going to be like? No big deal? Thanks!

It can be hard to walk into such a sexually charged situation, like a rope class, alone – especially if it’s one of your first forays into the kink community. BDSM classes, of any sort, should be open, welcoming environments to everyone interested. Of course, I can say that, but it won’t make things any less nerve-wracking for you.

As for what it’s going to be like, I can tell you what some of the rope classes that I’ve attended have been like.

It’s been a learning environment The instructor showed us how to do a tie, and we did the tie, either on a bottom or on ourselves. The instructor would walk around and give us tips, critiques, etc as we tied. In the more formal shibari classes I’ve gone to, the instructor had us complete the tie in stages, making sure the whole class was at the same place as we worked. At a less formal class I attended, the instructor let us tie at our own pace, offering advice as we went.

Yes, there was some sexual energy, but it wasn’t the focus – even in the breast bondage class I attended! There were some lewd jokes here and there, as well as some nudity (which was optional).

I’ve attended rope classes both with a partner and solo. In fact, the above-mentioned breast bondage class was one that I went to solo. I tied the various harnesses on myself and no one questioned me about it, other than to comment how well I can work rope behind my back (the benefits of wearing corsets for more years than I can remember). In classes that I attended with a partner, we were expected to avoid sexual play – this was to learn a tie, not get frisky.

attending a rope class alone bdsm kinky workshop learn about shibariYou have a couple of options for attending a rope class, lets take a look at them and you can choose what works for you.

  1. You can find an open minded friend to attend with you.
    If you feel comfortable asking one of your vanilla friends, it can turn out to be a fun afternoon. While rope is often used for sexy times, lots of people tie for the love of rope alone. It would not be looked at as unusual to have a platonic partner for a rope class.
  2. You can go to a few munches and make friends, then ask one to go with you.
    If you have a bit of time before the rope class, you can go out and meet people in the kink community. If you talk to other people, you may find others who are interested in attending the class and would want to go with you. You may even find a group of people who were already planning on attending that you can join.
  3. You can post online looking for a partner.
    Some classes will allow you to post that you’re looking for a partner on the event listing or forum group. You can find someone who also wanted to go but didn’t want to attend alone.
  4. You can go alone.
    You can always take the event listing at face value and attend alone. If there are things which require you to be partnered, the instuctor will find another solo attendee or someone suitable. Many times, you will be able to practice many things alone – for instance, wrist cuffs can work just as well on ankles, and you can easily tie your own ankles.

Whatever you decide to do, know that there will be others who are in the same boat. You won’t be the first person who has gone to a BDSM class alone, and you won’t be the last. Just remember, you’re there to have fun and learn!

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