Hi Morgan, what are some good ways to track down Munches in my area? This is how new to exploring I am. – Mudadude
There are a few ways to find a munch in your area. Which one works best will depend on where you are and how active things are there.
The first and probably easiest way to find a munch in your area is to take a look on Fetlife. The website has a bunch of issues that I won’t go into here, but one of the great things about it is that it has listings for all sorts of kink and BDSM events.
Fetlife to Find a Munch
If you haven’t done so already, joining Fetlife is pretty easy. Accounts are free (although there is a paid option that allows you to watch videos and gives you a few other perks). I believe the sign-up process now requires both an email address and a phone number. There have been recent issues with bots and others who exploited how easy it was to join, so this is one of the ways to combat it. We will see if it actually works.
After you’ve signed up, you just need to create a profile. It can be as filled out or empty as you like, but if you want to talk to others using the site, I highly recommend filling it out a bit. I have some advice about filling out your profile and while it’s geared to dating, it works for this sort of thing too. If you are unsure about your role or the role options on Fetlife, I have an explanation of many different BDSM roles here.
Your profile is important since some event organizers and group leaders will use it as a way to vet people. It doesn’t have to be elaborate, but it should be more than a picture of genitals and an “about me” section that says “here for the slutz”. Put a bit of effort into it (and be respectful).
You now have a choice. If you are comfortable listing your location on your Fetlife profile, you can simply click on the link for your city at the top of the profile page. This will show you the options of what is near to you, including groups, kinksters, events, etc.
If you don’t want to list your location, that’s okay. Just type your city into the search bar at the top of the screen and you will be presented with the same list of options.
If nothing comes up (or your city isn’t listed in the profile options), you may need to choose a city that is nearby. Some smaller towns and cities aren’t listed as options, simply because they aren’t big enough to have much of a kink community. Depending on your country, you may have to choose the nearest major city. In North America and Europe, most mid-size cities and larger are listed.
Once you see the list of options, you will want to pay attention to two of them specifically. The “Events” tab will give you a listing of various events that are coming up. You can look through this list to find a munch in your area. Check back regularly, since a lot of organizers don’t make an event listing until a week or two before the actual event.
All the listings are generated by the people hosting the events, so you will see a mixed bag of details, professionalism, and dudes trying to get blowjobs by advertising a “BJ party” at their place (this seriously happens on a semi-regular basis). As far as I can tell, the event listings aren’t monitored by the site, so approach with caution if something is at a private address or seems too good to be true.
You will also want to check out the groups that are local to you. Groups are basically just a discussion forum where you can ask questions, chat with others and find out about events. Many organizers will post reminder or announcement threads in local groups to let people know about their event. This saves having to constantly check the events tab.
It also gives you a chance to chat with others in your area who may also attend events. Going alone for the first time can be nerve-wracking. Knowing a few people – even if it’s just from a few online interactions – can help with those nerves.
Reddit has a pretty awful reputation on the internet but like many things, it really depends on how you use it. It has a number of BDSM themed subreddits and a thriving kink community. If you stick to the subreddits that you’re interested in and avoid the questionable ones, Reddit offers an entertaining and potentially enlightening experience. It doesn’t have easy to use event listings in a central area but you can chat with other kinksters, find local groups and subreddits. Events are sometimes posted or may be talked about by members of the various communities.
Find a Munch
FindaMunch.com is another useful resource for finding local groups. It is also more international than many other resources. It seems to draw from local websites and Fetlife and some of the listings are out of date (or at least they were for my area – a party I helped run was listed, even though we stopped hosting events a few years ago). It did have links to local listing sites that are up to date, so it offers multiple ways to find groups and munches.
Google & Other Websites
If Fetlife isn’t your thing, there are other kinky websites out there. None are as big or comprehensive as Fetlife but they may be of some use. Your country may have a BDSM site that is used more locally than Fetlife (which caters mostly to North America, Europe and English speakers predominately). If that is the case, you can generally find them with a search.
You can also simply do a Google search for munch listings. Type in “your city + munch” or “your city+ BDSM” and see what comes up. For instance, in my area, a website called Ehbc.ca has event listings for all of Southern Ontario. Some munches have their own websites that will show up in a search.
Hopefully, with all these resources at your fingertips, you will be able to find a munch in your local area. Again, you may need to travel to a nearby city if there isn’t something in your immediate area. Some parts of the world may not have as much going on (especially if you live in a conservative country), but you should at least find resources to talk to other kinksters.